How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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