ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
