fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
