He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
