my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
