She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
