I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
