My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
