this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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