PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
