i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to calm my uterus...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
