champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
