Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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