Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My feet surprised me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
