You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
