just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
