i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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