U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
