Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
