Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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