Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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