Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's rum buckets o'clock
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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