Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I had to cum in my sink.
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