So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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