i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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