Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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