dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize