Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
