I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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