He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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