i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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