sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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