Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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