i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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