Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize