i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
