So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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