Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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