i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
