I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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