Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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