i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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