Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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