I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Your cock deserves a montage
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
