You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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