He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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