I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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