we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
