So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
