i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
