why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
