We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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