I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
