grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
