Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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