I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dick very happy bro
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
