he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
