Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
