i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
