It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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