Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
