Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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