Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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