I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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