please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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